ME!
Hey this is me and my name is Shyler but I hate that name so I like being called Shy Shi or SLAP or Shy or Baby Girl.
I like this guy named Kevin Atwood and he is sooooooooooooooooo hot and sexy and I love him very much and I hope that my feelings fer him will never change.
My goals I want to succeed in life are very easy to figure out: I want to become someone to get there point across to people and I want to be able to get my perspective on life in the world so people can hear it.
I love writing poetry and i love singing songs that I make wid my friends and family and i love being me and original and not someone else i love just being me and some people would love to change that and i hate it when someone tells me what to do and when to do it when i am a human being with a mind of her own,I can make my own decisions which are not so right at times but are okay and some are dangerous but I love it.
When ever someone dares me to do something i am the one that takes the chance right there cause i love to me a daredevil and just me and no one else.
WEll thats me and ill keep you undated

my gurls
Mood:  a-ok
kirstie - she likes squirrels and like two guys and loves to be original.
Kassi- she likes ICP
Laura C - she likes bein wacky and a peace maker at times
Kayla- loves to be herself and wacky and loves Banana Phone
Amanda- she usta loike this guy named Jeremy Ebelt, but now she doesn't ( everyone is thankful)
Ashley Dailey - she is okay, but she is a poser wid her new DC shoes, she wants to be like everyone else and it really pisses me off...GRRRR! lol
Emmy - she is okay too ( but she is a wannabe prep and snowboarder and a poser?
Heather - she is cool
Brittney - She is aweome and funny
Tosha - the same as britt
Carrie- she is a funny and wacky person and you wanna know what she is Kevin Atwood's cuzin)
Steph- she is kool and athletic and funny and wacky and is friends wid tosha and britt and carrie
LAT - she is a weirdo and she likes pickles and is a FREAK (well thats wat she says ne way)
and Laura B - how can i really decribe her ??? dunno now but i hope we will know soon (NOT)

My Funniest At The End
Topic: laughter
Laugh

No one has ever been there for me or ever cared for me
I have either have punched a locker or door or did the worse
And
Did self-emulation
Where ever I am I don’t know where my destination is;
All I do is walk and talk to myself to sort out some problems of mine
I take time out of my day and walk away from things
The best things in my life are:
Loving the person that is special to me
And
Going home and being alone
So I can talk to myself and have privacy
And
So I can talk to my friends and not have someone listening on the other line
I don’t like it when someone thinks they are everything and everyone loves them
When 91 people hate them and that’s including me
When ever I see them walking down the hall I just want to push one into the wall or trip on and watch the fall flat on there face

SO SAD
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Poems that i have wrote
BARELY


You can barely see me
But you see in between the lines and you can read every rhyme that I write for you
I don't know what to do when it comes to you
So I write poems
But the good thing is that I know right from wrong
And
I know my true feelings are for you


Alone

I am all alone now
I ended my relationship with everyone I know
I did the wrong think and thought I would be strong with it
I decided to be bad and just took a small, pointy, jagged, sharp knife and waved good-bye to life and watched everyone cry
My last few words were: I am sorry, I love you my special person
And my true feelings about friends is real not fake and then I fell to the ground with a big pound when I hit
Everyone that wasn!?t crying
Grabbed a first aid kit and tried to bring me back, but it was too late, I had already lose to much blood
Everyone near me was covered in red, warm blood
And
Then after a few seconds
I was covered in my blood and then a flood was all around me
And that's it I was all
Alone!

No one was with me
No one else could see me in life
I was gone and alone on my own


Commit

I won't be fine at nine
I'll be dead in my own bed
I'll be looking at pictures of my friends
At the funeral some people will be sad and others mad
But everyone will know I decided to commit suicide over a boy;
Who shall remain nameless in the poem
Everyone thought I was always full of joy
But it was just an act
So after I died everyone packed my things away and said good-bye to me
I hope that I come back in another life and see someone that I LOVE to death
I know this:
I won't take another knife to my wrists if I get another life.


Fear

You shed a tear when one of fear comes back to you
You try to run from it, but it catches you
You start to cry and feel that you just want to run away and never come back to see the rest of fears
You feel that your life has been messed with and you want to know why
You say you don't know much
Then... You hear a crunch
It's the Boggie Man
He stepped on a cracker
Then you see the shiny ring the Boggie Man has on his finger and you start to sing "Linger Minger" The Boggie Man gets closer to you and then ..
You wake up .. just in time
You look under your bed, and when your cat jumps from under the bed, your head flies up and your face turns pale,
You say to yourself in silence
Im just glad that the Boggie Man
Isn't real
And when you turn around !|!|!|..
There he is and your
Gone
Ha-ha I was joking I hope I didn!?t scare you, but it!?s true the Boggie Man is real
He is coming after you ha-ha yea yea

I Guess Its Just ME!

My eyes are blood shot
My own blood is flooding out of my arm
My body is going cold and my soul is going the color coal
My body is turning pale now
And the worst thing is
That my friends feel that the failed to see me as a suicidal person,
But really the didn!?t
I took the knife and cut my own damn arm and threatened my life
I only did it because I felt that no one cared about me
I can!?t see any more,
But I see a white light and my friends go into fright and start to worry
I want to say sorry
But I to far gone to move or even speak
Everyone is freaking out and saying things and
Heading to my friend Kevin!?s house to tell him that:
I am dying
And he starts to cry inside and runs to hold me tight
And to get me to fight back and stay alive,
But when he finds me
It!?s too late
I am already dead
And he sat next to me and held me close to his heart and stayed with me and if you see me in my next life
You will see me carrying around my knife and blood always on my t-shirt or sleeve
If you ever piss me off I will leave and breathe deep
And
Cut and if anyone ever says !?But!?
I will be gone again
My sin will sit on top of the hill I always sat on to look over the world and at dawn and will keep watch over me and my love and make sure I don!?t screw up that life
My life is on a contract and has to follow it or I!?ll never have another life
So if I kill myself after my third life I will never see day light again
S right now I am sitting in fright and I am knitting a blanket for me
And when
I get done I will crawl into my corner of my room and listen to my favorite song
And
Sing myself to sleep and cover up with my K.A. blanket
People will never see me sitting there because I!?ll be in all black
And it!?s dark in my room too
And if you ever come in my room and see me I!?ll leave a mark in my !?door!?
And say good-bye
People will say why and when I don!?t answer they will cry

In Mind

In a state of mind
I try to find myself
I do it by crying and even by trying to die
I do a lot of things to find myself once again
But sometimes that means trying to commit suicide
But don!?t ever die
For some odd reason someone saves me and I don!?t know why
But I usually end up in a hospital room
After a day or two when I haven!?t regained consciences
I a, zoomed into the I.C.U.
In there it is dark, quiet, and the smell of death and it is also scary
But most of the time people stay alive
Mine on the other hand I want to lose fast and quietly and non-bloody like

Love

Love is something you feel
It is something we all deal with
It is one of the most real feelings you will ever feel in your heart

Love is something you should use to care about somebody with
Love is a true feeling
An example of it is saying
I ?? U!
To your boo or hunny bunny
Your soul gets soothed when ever you say it to someone
An in some ways you can make people cry saying


Like me I say I LOVE YOU to a boy named Kevin Atwood
Right now he is my special person in my life
And I hope that never changes because he means a lot to me
And if you ever see me walking down the street
You might want to look at the back of my hoodie
Cause then you will see how much
I LOVE HIM
And how TRUE my feelings are


?? THAT!?S ME FOR SURE ??


Memories

I am not dead yet but will be soon around noon
I!?ll be gone and you will be able to see that I died for a stupid reason
In the song (well I don!?t remember the name of it) it says:
To the season to be jolly
Well I have a good question for you okay,
Was I jolly every day of the year?
I don!?t think so cuz the only time I was when I had my time with my special person I LOVE
But anyways this is the last thing I will write before I die
Everyone I know will think of all the past memories that we all had
Some might be sad and others funny
But they are just memories
And there will not be anymore funny or happy memories of what happened to me
And what I did to myself
But they will all see some secrets about me when or if they read my diary
But I also know this:
My last few words will be sorry for making you worry
And sorry for bothering in life
I!?m sorry for taking a knife and taking my life away

Well that!?s what I am gonna say
Oh yea by the way its five minutes till noon
So I guess you know what that means !|!|!| I am gonna die in five minutes
Nope
Wait !|
Four minutes now
Well I better go cuz I don!?t want to get blood on this paper since it!?s the last thing I will EVER write and say bout myself and something I had in my possession

P.S
Please don!?t miss me for bad things or sad things cuz then I will feel very, very bad were ever I end up


MY BOO!!!

Lala Lala La
My boo my boo
I love you!
My feelings are true
I wish you were all mine
But I guess you just need time to come around
So please see me out of my life with this knife


My Great Decision


I don!?t know much anymore about something!?s
That includes: life, death and my future
I don!?t like to sometimes, but I need to at times
So what I do is take a sharp, pointy, jagged, little knife and think of life in a different way.


Rhyme


I can!?t rhyme worth shit
So you can pay a dime per rhyme
I am awake
All day
But sleep during classes
I get in deep shit when I sleep in classes and when I kick girl!?s asses



Satisfaction

I haven!?t seen much of life,
But right now
I don!?t care
I can barely see why people care about me
I think I should drown myself with all e tears I have shedded
I always have a sigh on my face and other times I have no expression on my face
I just stare into space and think what I should do next in life
As I think I take a drink of my favorite !?soda!? (poison)
I think to myself and ask myself if I should just end my life with:
A sharp, pointy, little, jagged, black, and bloody knife and say good-bye to life
But the truth is that I don!?t want to go that way I don!?t want a bloody death I want a peaceful quiet death


Sorry


I want to say sorry for being such a disappointment to you, but I guess it is true that I was just a disappointment girl
I can!?t change your opinions on me
But I can try to get you to see that I can be someone that makes people proud
Instead of just taking shots, pills, and taking a knife to end my life
Now I know if I want to die to say good-bye first
Instead of a letter after I have already passed
Yea that!?s right I am dead and I!?m sorry
I know I was making you worry and I also know I couldn!?t get you to stop worrying
So what I did was:
I took about five to nine pills and two to three shots
Then a knife and looked at your picture and then said good-bye to life crying
I ain!?t lying about anything
So don!?t think that okay
Before I left I wrote this letter and I am asking this to you, if you can give it to the person that is in the picture next to my bed
He is in the red frame that has a K on it
The letter is were I sat all the time
If you want to know what the letter says, look at the end of the poem that I am now writing to you
Oh yea this is almost the end of the poem but anyways here is the letter:

To whom I love, and care about the most,

I am very sorry for making you worry, but I am gone now okay and I am never, never coming back
So if you want you can forget everything about me!| like my smile, my frown, the way I laid down, the way I laughed, and the way I LOVED YOU and how I still DO
I will not be able to see you before I go, but I want to
But the truth is that I just did something and now I wish I never did it
So the last thing I did before it was my past was I took five to nine pills and two to three shots and then I took a knife and ended my life
Like I said before I am very, very sorry
But just remember this please
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND I MISS YOU!


Love always and forever and I am very sorry,
Shy

Well that!?s it please give it to him fer me
Well got to go before someone finds me and sees what I am doing is bad and because then when you see what I am doing you will have a sad face cuz you know I am dying and I don!?t want to see sad faces cuz then I will end up crying
And I don!?t want that before I die, I don!?t want any sound or anyone crying
I just want to hear the last few pounds of my heart and then I will die FAST


Untitled

Fer real
I don!?t know how to deal with anything anymore
So I!?ll take this knife and end my life for ever
I!?ll make sure I die and then I will cry
But when I cut so deep, I will make my blood flood all around me and then you can see that I don!?t care about myself and that I love doing dares specially the ones that can kill me or hurt me
But I guess you can see that this was no dare it was something I just did
But the truth is that I don!?t think anyone cares about me or ever did in my past
So I left life as fast as I came into life
I just took a sharp, pointy, shiny knife and said good-bye to life and died
The last thing I did before I left was write a letter to who ever finds my poor body,
That would be drenched in my blood
It said:

To whom it concerns,

I am saying good-bye and if you want to know why you can read my black and red diary (in the top left drawer in my bureau)
It says everything bout what has happened to me in my pathetic, short life and what ever I said in my diary is the truth
You can even ask my therapist; her name is Ruth
She will say the same damn things about me, that!?s in my diary
But forget about her
So good-bye and if you are the person that is special to me, I !?m sorry and
I LOVE YOU!
But I have to go
And I am very sorry for being a disappointment to you,
But I guess what I am to you is true (just a disappointment girl)
So hope your life isn!?t as crummy as mine, here is a little advice okay,
If you take your time in life then you might get what you want
Then you won!?t end up taking a knife to your wrists like I did

Well good-bye I!?m sorry for bothering in life
Yours in mind and trying very hard not to be found,

Shy

P.S.

Please try not to find me

So that's what I wrote, I hope you liked it
But everything in the letter I last wrote is ALL true
Well now I have to go and be me
Oh yea, if you didn!?t realize this, I just killed myself